today is a factual day

...about animals

My photo of a giraffe about to dribble all over josh

And my giraffe version

 The spider that kills the most people in Australia (the huntsman spider) is not venomous, it actually kills people as it loves finding cosy little nests and loves nothing more than to hide under car sun visors and drop on unsuspecting drivers when it feels like it. That's dangerous hide and seek.

Do you think Jelly fish are evil little things? Well, take this Jelly Fish! Jelly fish can evaporate in the sun as they are 98% water, so just point and laugh.

I just love ducks. But if you do not.. Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.

If you got all the people in the world on a massive weighing scales and all the ants in the world on the same scales... we would all weigh the same!?! So if you are feeling a little tubby and think your food baby is a tiny bit gross, just think of all those fatty ants taking up their fair share of the scales. P.s. If they ever work out this, as they can lift double their weight, they could just pick us up and take us to Disneyland. Or even better... bring Disneyland to us?

An elephant can die from a broken heart. Also when an elephant is about to die all the rest of the herd does a final parade to the graveyard. They really would make a terrible one-night stand, but at least the walk of shame home would be done in full-on carnival costume. This is also why there is not an elephant version of Jeremy Kyle.

Want to know what is a pain in the neck? In 1945, a rooster name Mike lived for 18 months without a head. Good job he didn't get given a hat for Christmas.

Polar bear skin is black and fur is white. So when singing Michael Jackson's song "doesn't matter if your black or white" think of all those Polar Bears (and pandas) having such a nice multiracial time.

All these facts are not all from my noggin. Some are. Most are taken from the world wide web. Therefore, if any of these are wrong... I blame everyone else.

the media

This is going to be a wordy one

I though it was about time I shared my wee little opinion on the world of the media, especially as it hits the front page. (Oh and today is the big day of my interview!) So here is a few things I am super cool and thinking about.

I have recently seen the 'hollidaaays are coming' coke advert. This always makes me (and everyone else in the world/ on facebook) the happiest person. But I have to think, bravo to that marketing campaign. It is one advert that changed the colour of Father Christmas' clothing to advertise its brand and that now sparks the first excitment of Christmas.

Jeremy Clarkson has been made to apologise for wanting to shoot protesters from an interview with the One Show. If you read that sentence out loud it doesn't look serious. I mean, if you took that as anything but a joke then you really have to question what has happened to comedy as we already have to be careful of everything we say. Oh and then that terrible video of a lady shouting on a tram came along and we all realised it was still out there. 

The News of the world and following inquests. Phone hacking is wrong. I know that if anyone looked at my phone they would probably think I was boring/fickle/drunk 90% of the time/loved up with anybody I text.

When anyone starts University they get a Facebook account. Its one of those sites that distracts and interacts. I think most people watched the The Social Network film, I happened to think this was a little bit like a fictional documentary, which is never really that useful. However, I am not ashamed to admit I will almost instinctively log on every time I find laptop and I really love flicking through photos of past nights out and sharing funny cat videos on my best friends walls.

The Metro is my morning and afternoon read, when the pennies are being scraped together in order to buy lunch at least its free! I also find its one of the only newspapers which can combine the headlines "Eurocrisis" and "Pension protests" with one page later saying "Man collects most gnomes". I think its nice to know not everything in the world is bad.

The new blogging sensation. Now, if anyone has reached this point and is still reading... hello! I think blogging is pretty nifty. I don't ever presume I write anything worth reading, in fact that is why I love pictures, but I like the fact I am sharing. SHARING IS CARING. 

Twitter. I feel somehow with twitter my training wheels (like on your first bike) are not off yet as I still am discovering everything out there. I mean, the other day ARGOS tweeted to someone. Argos can tweet? This is a sentence I never thought I would use. After all, I enjoyed one comedian's view that Argos was actually a shop with a wizard sitting in the back (where the warehouse should be) magically creating items people order and then projecting a number onto a flashy board. Although, Argos really does take the fun out of shopping when you wait for your items in a doctors-surgery-type seating arrangement.

You tube and the brilliant Rude tube programme, where I enjoy animal clips so much and ones with babies enjoying heavy metal that I once cried with laughter at a baby ripping up paper. What are the chances?

One word, Jordan. Seriously now... why is she famous? Big boobs. Oh yes, and the most clever person at marketing herself in the whole of the UK. I have seen trailers for the fact she now has a television programme about being signed with her. I am generally confused by this. The poor person has no hope.

Finally, flashy phones. The Internet and everything in one device. I am afraid I will still be sticking to my average size phone with normal buttons and fairly tame features but Josh is so in love with his phone I think the other day we tried to find a restaurant with his googlemaps app, open the door in the dark with his torch app, look up a video about how nice the place is with his you tube app and uploaded a photo of our dinner with his facebook app... ROMANTICCC app. (lame pun)

LIKE.

movember update

This is Josh's moustachioooo week 3 of 4.

What do you think?

If you are having a little gander please donate:

right here

It would be much appreciated

movember

So, Josh is growing what looks like a bit of a creepy moustachiooo, all to raise money for Movember and prostate cancer (men's health).

Therefore I shall be updating his facial hair on this blog in order to:

1. Have a laugh at his funny moustache (and maybe wonder if he is in fact a hardened criminal)

2. Raise awareness for this cause 

and 

3. In case people want to make a donation... I shall pop a link on the end of the pictures so you can give any of your pennies towards it.

Also, moustaches are so dignified. Like my favourite man Lenin (who I named my pet shrimp after) and therefore me and my panda friend (in the picture above) are slightly jealous

He is sexy
 http://www.justgiving.com/creepy-moustache-fun

sharing is caring

from my little droplets of brain juice...

For those who like to talk about gay feelings and bunnies, here is one for the romantic:

According to Greek mythology, way back in the time of UNICORNS and half-man-half-goat people (really hairy man legs have the same effect in my book) the human race were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and a head with two faces. Kind of like a freaky looking monster under the bed yet they were very happy and spent their time prancing through fields with all their limbs. BUT the main god, the one that liked to push people around and was a bit of a freaky meanie, was called Zeus and he decided that these monster people were too powerful and he did not like this one bit. So with all his magical powers... he split the humans into two separate parts, right down the middle! KAZAAMMOO. Therefore, they were doomed to spend their lives in search of their other halves. However, once they found their other half and fell in love... they were complete again and could prance through fields again if they are into that sort of thing. naawwww.

ALSO for the people who just like to start a conversation with spiffing facts:

The planet Uranus was one of the first planet to be found by a uber cool scientist man looking through a telescope and going... blimey thats no moon/comet!! Soooo he had all the responsibility of naming this new planet. PRESSURE. After a long time debating and without google to help him (how did people cope?) he decided to call this awesome-new-shiny-big-plant George. Because with all his mighty brain cells he just copied the name of the current King of Britain, King George III. BUT this name did not go down well. Many people outside Britain were a bit confused... and unlike the Beckham children who are called whatever place the parents land their finger on when faced with a map of America or maybe a time they really like (half past seven... really?) I have a theory this is the time Victoria Beckham likes to fart. So they all got together, held hands and named it Uranus. (after anus)

And there you have it. My little pearls of wisdom for you fine reader people.

*insert poets name* eat your heart out

****

Saturday morning is my favourite time of day
Because I know we have all weekend to play.
I enjoy bubble wands and googly fish
I still use my lost eyelashes' to make a wish.
I once stayed at my friends and talked all morning about cats
We then discussed eating cheese and more about cats 

(yes that's right I rhymed cats with cats)

(so not to make people mad at my un-rhyming... I am a wee bit scared of bats)

I think photos are incredible because they capture things I forget

Like nights out or facial expressions we regret
I think I am well suited to people who make birthday hats
And aren't you glad I didn't rhyme that with cats?
When I go back home, I imagine where I used to be

When my mum's kitchen wasn't bright green and my friends didn't drink so much tea

Like the times I would trace the terribly-flowery wallpaper with my thumb
And it was ever so funny and cute when I would say something dumb
But I really enjoy my Saturday-curtain opened-sunny-bed-bacon days
And therefore I don't think its very super lame that I am stuck in my ways


 ****

what the world needs now...

is love sweet love.

 hello world. please stop being nasty. thanks

 

The riots

Its really sad to see a city being destroyed by a few individuals who have jumped on a band wagon in order to steal from people and smash up a few things. The worst thing is seeing hard working and honest people having everything taken away from them by people who are selfish and cruel. 

But.... although it sounds crazy, it kinda makes me happy to see when others pull together in a time like this. People are trying to spot looters by means of social media, checking if friends and families are safe and there is a real sense of people supporting the police to stop this violence. These select few who are causing all this pain and needless damage should be ashamed. Especially as this all began due to the accidental death of a young person and now it seems this is just a platform for a revolution. I am no politician but I am a believer that if you are bad and treat people poorly then nothing good will come back to you.

These horrid people should not be branded as 'youths' because there are plenty of 'youths' who are against this behaviour and stuck with a label put on them by these idiots. We are a younger generation who are going to have to put up with the actions of people today, the terrible way our job market barricades people out of doing something new and exciting and how reliant we are on benefits to just make a life. I am not good with words and I don't claim to know much about the economy, but I know that I can see people on facebook honestly getting angry and hurt by these riots... and these are the people who are young and hard working. 

There we go. My little rant over. 

So I feel it is only right I end on a cheesy note